"South Park - The Talk Station" - past episodes

DB down the Shore! - Episode One

As we join our pals, Boss Tweed is furious with DumGee? for being late with the Audi

TWEED:  What's with that Dum Dego? Is he picking up hookers again? Christ, if he pulls another Clinton this time I'm giving his time slot to away for sure!

Just then DumGee? phones in from the car
RING RING RING...

DumGee?:  Um... ahhhhhh YES, HEY Boss, sorry I'm late, almost there.  Gave Monica a ride to the Claridge.  Boy smaller IS friendlier! OUTSTANDING!!

DisturbedSon starts his show on the boardwalk

DisturbedSon:  Heeeey Vaallll look... a jogger.  Yo baby can you come over here and jog in place for me for Oh... about 3 hours?  My wife's out of town.

Newsgal Val gets lonely... Very lonely, she spies Boy Toy Mini Tweed walking out of the Hilton

Newsgal Val:  Hey Chadley!  Wanna go upstairs and look at my Lipo scar?

Just as Chadley gets comfortable Newsgal Val goes into the other room, opens the window, and takes the money bags that was Chadley's gambling winnings and throws them out the window at somebody sunning himself on the beach

FOOMP

FOOMP

FOOMP

Oiv: On No Dude.  They killed KenVee!!! (Hear it)

TWEED:  Well that'll teach the bastard for calling in sick.  Hey get NewsGal Val down here... a new time slot just opened up.

Join us next time when we witness BOSS TWEED at Pat's Steaks remote broadcast

PIZZA MAN PAT:  Hey PROMO KEV! you said I should invest in my business Not that TWEED would INGEST my business!

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DB down the Shore! - Episode Two

As we join our sick friends, Boss Tweed is screaming at Jonnybee on the cellphone

TWEED:  What the hell do you mean you can't find us?  Were right here under Lucy the Elephant!  OK... just drive SOUTH into Margate and look for the big statue of your WIFE near the ocean.  S%#$ who ever heard of a traffic jock getting LOST!!

As part of his court ordered 500 hours of community service DisturbedSon demonstrates his plan for preventing street sign theft to Camden City Council (a rampant problem at that time)

DISTUBEDSON:  Look, it's real simple see - you plug the street sign into a nearby light pole for some juice and wait a while.... .... .... SHhhhh! here comes some worthless punk to steal the sign.  He climbs up, gets his tools, reaches for the sign and  BZZZZZZiitttPOW  Fried Punk!

Jonnybee is STILL lost

JONNYBEE:  Hey don't blame me MaryDon't-tell gave me this map and assured me it was accurate, that freaking B!%@H.  I'll just have to do the traffic from the median here on the parkway.

Aussie Spice is finishing up her show

AUSSIESPICE (who thinks she is off mic):  You just watch, Jonnybee is a typical filthy pig male.  He's miles from a restroom so he'll wip it out and pee right there on the highway.

Jonnybee has had way too much coffee

JONNYBEE:  gotta go ! gotta go ! gotta go ! gotta go ! gotta go ! gotta go ! gotta go !

Jonnybee steps out of his Beemer and

WHAM !  BAM !  SPLAT !  CRUNCH !   SQUOOSH

AUSSIESPICE:  Oh no dudes... they killed Jonnybee! YOU BASTARDS!

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But there are witnesses...

STATE POLICE:  We are issuing this composite sketch based on witness reports.  This individual is believed to be behind the wheel of the 18 wheeler that ran down Jonnybee, one toll booth, four people at the farmers market roadside stand, nine seagulls, a Yugo, two road signs,  A Wal Mart and three jetskiers.  The individual, a female was heard to say "Mine, all mine!  hahahaha 'Go Patrol with Mary' hahahaha."

Reward $50,000

Join us next time for Day 863, Septa held hostage when DumGee? says "That TWU chief doesn't need a Dentist he needs a VET."  Hey Doc, make sure YOU'VE had your SHOTS!!

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