Rich and Art - The home
repair guys on WPHT, explain this news item...
1/99 - News Item: Railing failure at the Vet
during the Army/Navy game prompts investigation.
Forget
for a minute that one of the cadets was injured at the
Vet during the Army/Navy game, here are Rick and Art from WPHT (Saturdays at
7am) to explain what
happened.
Rick: Welcome to the show everybody.
As you know 11 cadets were injured today the Army / Navy game
held at Veterans Stadium. A railing gave way under the weight
of the cadets causing them to fall out of the stands onto the
ground from a height of what looked like 10-15 feet.
Art: I might point out here that the
railing in question was alleged to have been held together
with Duct Tape.
Rick: That’s right Art. As any fix it guy
knows Duct Tape is the most universal of repair tools.
Art: It sure is, I use it all the time. What seemed
to be the problem is this case was the improper use of it.
Duct Tape has the adhesive qualities and the tensile strength
to hold that railing if enough is used. The big question here
is, was enough used? Obviously not!
Rick: I’d have to second that Rick, we know
throughout history Duct Tape was used to build or repair many
landmarks including the Pyramids, the Roman Coliseum, and in
one of the best displays of last minute uses, The Trojan
Horse.
Art: Now don’t forget how many disasters could
have been avoided had Duct Tape been used at the critical
time.
Rick: Art, one of my favorites in that category is
The Titanic - 10 rolls would have done the trick there...
Art: And can you imagine all the trouble we could
have avoided had Betty Currie had some in her desk when
Monica came to the oval office with that pizza?
Rick: Of course there are some uses that are not
appropriate for Duct Tape like; Mother in Laws, cooking and
sex, unless you are into bondage...
Art: Well in the case of bondage I use Painters
Tape. It leaves no residue.
Rick: Well you get the point. All this could have
been avoided had Duct Tape been properly applied. In fact I
would go so far as to say the person responsible for the
accident had no clue to the proper use and may in fact be
what we in the trade call, “half a bubble short of
level.”
Art: He probably has a small tool belt or better
yet one of those 5 gallon buckets he carries his tools in.
Rick: Yea, I bet he lives with his mother too. Does
anybody know this guy, was his last name Bates? And
does he run a motel?
Art: I myself won’t hire anybody who uses less
than 4 rolls of Duct Tape per week. When I hire them
that’s the first thing I ask.
Rick: Well it’s time for a break. Coming up
next we will have Fornwaith McFinster, legal counsel for 3M
corp. as a guest. 3M is the leading manufacturer of the
adhesive used for many brands of Duct Tape...
rickandart@hotmail.com
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