1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH
2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape
3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this
and try again later. and later.....and later....and oh forget it.
4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver
from seeing better cars.
5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim itís the
6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for
no apparent reason.
7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lotsía
pretty colors and lights.
8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats
for family members.
9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make
payments for 6 months. any doubts...ask Woodstream bout this!
10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the
car off of them.
11. The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls
to other AOL car cell phones.
12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving
near other car dealerships.
13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair, but they'd
be available 24 hours a day to screw up your car!
14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars
stall just for fun. Punt this! but Officer....I WAS driving on the road..
I donít know what happened... next thing I knew I was off the highway!
15. It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
16. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave
17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder,
M/F/age? Car wouldn't come with profile feature...oh no!
18. It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another
AOL car owner.
19. AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they
really are. Some compacts would claim to be Limos...
20. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other
cars have them.
21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say,